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1/18/2018 2 Comments dancing through labored seasonssometimes the transitions into our seasons of life are gradual & other times they’re abrupt. my grand entrance into this season feels like a bit of both. in some ways i feel like i woke up in this season one morning & everything all of a sudden seemed to lack luster, & it was a bit cold, everything started numbing. & yet in other ways i feel like i should’ve seen this coming, watching my habits from the past few months playback in my mind on repeat & well, of course that got me here. there are hard seasons & there are soft seasons, & sometimes — most times — hard seasons accompany some warmth & oftentimes, the soft seasons aren’t void of some colder days. anyways, i hate sitting in the cold.
these days i find myself awkwardly hardened by things that used to help thaw me & days that seem to run fluid into each other & i’m often at the end of my day under my covers & christmas lights dreading the night’s close, my blinds down, meaning i won’t get this day back & how well did i love today? i reach for my journal, but i only jot down questions i don’t feel like finding answers for because i’m scared what they’ll tell me, but i write them anyways because i think the first step towards discovery is always asking questions even when it hurts. but there are other days i catch myself caught in moments of curious fervor, when the invitation to learn & create does nothing less than enchant me. i love the feeling of coming across a poem that seems to ignite me & i have no real reason for it to & nothing to credit it to except for the fact that He sees me. there are other moments of random elation when i just have to smile at feeling the joy of telling a story slow & smooth & when the punchline brings us some sort of contagious laughter. i think it’s absurdly important to listen to one another. if we don’t, we might miss something too precious to pass by — like the incessant glow that lingers in the air after she speaks & his smile that stalls me in the in between. regardless of my season, i wanna be the kind of person who, when caught off guard, still says automatic, “come in, you know you’re always welcome.” the kind who knows one of the ingredients to thriving in seasons of change is to remain insanely curious. i wanna be the kind of person that is never in a rush to tidy things up on the inside before someone asks to catch-up because it can be pretty annoying to talk to a person who pretends she has everything figured out. i wanna dance through these seasons & all their days in between, even when i’m unaware of their constant progression. i wanna dance through the hard & soft seasons as God watches me from where He reigns & smiles because He knows He’s the author of the labored seasons, with all of their rhythms, & He knows i’m trying hard to believe that, rest in that.
2 Comments
Katie
1/18/2018 01:35:33 pm
What an incredible raw written piece from the heart. So thankful for this post as it resonates with me as well. Keep writing, your voice is one that I cannot wait to hear through your writing.
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Susan Gaechter
1/18/2018 02:09:08 pm
Bethany, once again powerfully written. May God continue to bless you as you share from your heart and may you dance through all the seasons He brings you through. Love You!
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