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7/14/2018 0 Comments oncei just needed some sort of pulsing reminder, some kind of gentle heart-piercing to open my eyes to Here. & the word that kept coming to mind is one that i’ve said to myself a dozen times a day since, some times audibly & other times quietly whispered to my conscience. the word is “once.”
i need the weight of that little word to send shock waves throughout the moments i subconsciously categorize as mundane & ordinary. i need the weight of “once” to create some sort of magic in my motions. because the truth is, whatever is in front of me & in front of you, really only happens once. sure, there are replications of moments a thousand times over & annual celebrations & familiar gatherings & routine dinner conversations & the same friendships, but even still, each & every one of these are shaped by their own unique nuances & quirks & i think we’ll cheapen our lives if we forget this. now, i don’t mean for this word to pose any type of threat to make us enjoy our moments, in all their mess & magic. if you know anything about me, you know i’m not interested in fear or guilt tactics that scare me (or you) into loving life, God, or people. all i’m after in my stumble towards living the most abundantly is reaching out & grasping onto anything, be it a word, phrase, or image that refuels my wonder for this beautiful life & incredible world & stunning Creator. thus… “once.” as i reflect on the four letter word & all the directions it sends my mind spinning, i realize i’m both fascinated & frightened by its depth. i tend to put a whole lot of pressure on myself to make sure i’m enjoying whatever’s in front of me & if i’m breathing down my own neck enough, it’ll send me into a panic & frantic search to fix whatever is going on inside of me. repeating the word “once” to myself is not meant to push me over the edge. instead, “once” is a tender invitation & a gentle reminder that whatever is in front of me will only happen now. & now is all on purpose. it’s really all on purpose. because the One who created Purpose, including my & your unique purpose, is all about writing beautiful stories with all of our "now"s. living out “once” looks like an embrace of “here,”. it looks like letting your days refine you, letting the Brilliant One make you better. it looks like giving your full attention to the eyes in front of you & getting down on your knees over & over again to play with a child & asking intentional questions & then reminding yourself why it is God gave you two ears & one mouth & taking dozens of deep breaths so you can dish out grace, again & letting the bitterness inside you wither & admiring the strength of the ones you love the most, then telling them about it & always remembering that the soft drum in your chest means a million things, with one of them being this: He’s not finished yet. & i think what’s most important to remember about “once” is we’ll fail at remembering it’s weight over & over again & we'll flounder through our days in frustration & maybe actually wish some days away in our discontentment. & gosh, we already have. i think that’s what’s most beautiful about a sunrise because it reminds us it’s a new day, with new mercies & that He’s still Here — that He’ll always be Here — with an abundance of radiant grace that He’s waiting to lavish us with whenever we allow ourselves to be fully human. so, here’s to embracing our moments in whatever form they come & living out “once” & welcoming the grace that’s waiting to cover us when we don’t.
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