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9/11/2018 0 Comments sun showersi'm sitting on a bench in a no name park in the middle of a sun shower. it's a bit past noon & the sun is still soaring high & proud & there are grey clouds splattered across the baby blue sky as if God's finger painting out here in golden, colorado & rain drops are kissing my forehead & notebook pages. the thunder sounds angry & the leaves are shivering in response & i am the only one here to watch the show. to watch the sun shower.
& at the moment, i can't think of a better metaphor for this wild life we live. life is absurdly complicated & when i try to wade through the complexities of relational dynamics & aging dreams & childhood memories & present grief & the ebb & flow of seasons, their weighted beauty & heartache overwhelm me. which leads me to believe that life is nothing but a steady sun shower that we are always showing up for. life is never one-dimensional. it's layered & heavy & multi-angular & anything but black & white & i think there's something relieving about that. there's something relieving about knowing that we are always living in some sort of tension, in some kind of unfinished. & one of the secrets to life is learning how to live in its discomfort. right now, i'm navigating through the second year of my twenty's & learning to define what healthy risk looks like & learning what long distance friendship requires & struggling to redefine success & figuring out how to piece together a productive schedule & how to be a God lover & how to make new, meaningful friendships & how to love ben creatively & how to seek out adventure in the ever developing moments. in some of these experiences, i'm showing up to them for the first time & others i'm revisiting, but in each & every one of them is something like a sun shower : a consistent unfolding of what is bright & damp & what is chilling & soothing & i'm here, bathing in their unpredictable magic & breathing in the everlasting show above me & inside me : the sun's shine dancing with the grey clouds.
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